Perspective

15 years ago I was unemployed and living in my friend’s mom’s storage room in the suburbs of Toronto. I mean, unemployed isn’t exactly right - I had an unpaid internship at Leo Burnett where I was forced to dress up as Tony the Tiger. I paid for stuff with winnings from playing online poker. I appreciate their generosity so much because it allowed me to stay near Toronto and break into advertising. My buddy’s mom was happy when I moved out because it meant she could go back to not wearing pants around the house.

10 years ago I moved to Montreal. I thought I was a fucking baller because the agency that had hired me was paying for my move and put me up in a swanky hotel for a couple of days. I knew one person in the city. And about 25 words of French. Work was life. And life was work. I was grateful for the opportunity because it’s was my big break to work on global brands and sports. I remember trying out for a frisbee team and didn’t get a second look. That hurt. But it pushed me to play a different position on a different team.

5 years ago I was living in New York city. I had just started a new job after getting fired for the first time in my life. It was a huge blow to my ego. But it taught me a couple of things. Have an emergency fund. Good talent is rare, shitty bosses are not. Be nice to everyone. Do good work, because your reputation matters and follows you everywhere. Oh yeah, and people will pay handsomely for good talent. I found out that I was being underpaid by 40% at the place I was fired from. I’m grateful that I was able to learn that one person’s shitty opinion of your doesn’t define your worth. It gave me heaps of confidence going forward.

4 years ago I was back in Toronto. I took my first job in pro sports with the Toronto Raptors. I didn’t know anyone at the company. I didn’t have an in. I was just able to slog through the process of 500+ applicants and get it done. I took a 50% paycut to take the job. I’m grateful that my wife had a kick-ass job. It afforded me the luxury to make that choice instead of taking a job I would have hated that paid more.

3 years ago I was leading marketing for the Toronto Maple Leafs. I got to walk down to the ice before the home opener. I just stood in the empty stadium and took it all in. Such a privilege. What a great fucking team of people that I got to work with. I made mistakes. I got educated right quick on the heirarchies of hockey and how different it was from basketball. I’m grateful for the masterclass that I received in corporate politics, leadership, team building and how to sell shit in.

1 year ago I saw a job posting for the Los Angeles Rams to lead their brand team. They were looking for someone native to LA. They didn’t want a Canadian. It would be a move to a different country. Different timezone. Different business. All with a family this time. I’m grateful I applied.

Today I am here. Here in the present. Planning for the future. I’m grateful for the experiences that I’ve had. The struggles. The trials. The wins. The losses. They’ve given me the know-how to succeed in this moment. Today. They’ve built up my patience, my resilience, my creativity and my self-awareness.

Don’t forget to look back. Especially on the hard days. It makes you grateful for how far you’ve come.

- Christian

What Creates Value

Investing creates value. 

Kindness creates value. 

Long term planning creates value.

But some stuff doesn’t. 

Meetings don’t create value. Communication does.

Annual reviews don’t create value. Regular feedback does. 

Defending the status quo doesn’t create value. Acting differently does. 

Opinions aren’t valuable. Facts are. 

Ideas aren’t valuable. Execution is. 

Snap reactions aren't valuable. Thoughtful responses are.  

Good intentions aren't valuable. Meaningful actions are. 

Generic advice isn’t valuable. Contextual examples are. 

Mistakes aren’t valuable. Learning from them is. 

Holding knowledge isn’t valuable. Deploying knowledge is. 

A single data point is rarely valuable. Patterns frequently are. 

Always on culture isn’t valuable. Rest and recovery are. 

The value you pull from the past is from your learning.

The value you pull from the present is from your performance. 

The value you pull from the future is from how you prepared today. 

And above all, value is created through action. 

- Christian 

6 Lessons From "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck"

Relationships with books are kind of like relationships with people. Part of the relationship is you. Part of the relationship is outside of you (the other person / book). And part of the relationship is timing - the context of the moment in time that you're reading it. What's going on. What baggage you're carrying. What new perspectives you've just gained. What validation you’re yearning for. What problems you're trying to solve. 

Reading is an active endeavour. You don't sit back on the couch, tune out and waste away two hours like Netflix or the endless scroll of social media. You use your brain to process the words, your memory to contextualize it within your past experiences and your imagination to see it applied to future you. 

Just like relationships with people, timing is everything. You can come across the best book in the world, but if you're not equipped to read it ... it falls flat. Or you could stumble on diamond in the rough with a book that your intellectual set has overlooked and have it rock your world.

One of my top five most influential books over the past decade has been "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck" by Mark Manson. His writing feels like you're getting advice over a couple of drinks at a pub instead of reading a best-seller. And his content - his lessons - hit me right at the time that I needed to hear it. 

I had just become a new dad. I was navigating and growing through a political organization that mismatched its words and its actions. I was working to balance my life as a dad, a husband, a boss, a colleague, an athlete and a teammate.

And reading this book left me a profoundly simple filter for how to live my life - be deliberate about choosing the important things to care about. Don’t give a fuck about the rest.

1/ WE’RE NOT ENTITLED TO HAPPINESS

You feel that you’re perpetually entitled to be comfortable and happy at all times, that everything is supposed to just exactly the fucking way you want it to be. This is a sickness.

We are not entitled to happiness. The world isn’t going to give it to you for free. You have to find it. Create it. Be present. Make choices. Own your shit.

Happiness comes from overcoming problems. Believing in yourself. Investing into great relationships by doing the hard work of being vulnerably yourself. The presupposition that we deserve a happy life without doing the work is adolescent. Literally. Children are entitled to happy life. And even then, not every hour of every single day.

Entitlement is the enemy.

Happiness is not a solvable equation. Dissatisfaction and unease are inherent parts of human nature and, as we’ll see, necessary components to creating consistent happiness.

2/ PAIN = GOOD. AVOIDING PAIN = BAD.

The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships. Suffering through fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance. Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience.

Accept and lean into the suck in order to grow as a person. Pain is a signal that there is an opportunity for growth. Something to learn. A way to get better. Accept the negative experience, don’t avoid it. Remember the pain of the loss and let if fuel you to figure out what went wrong and how to build yourself to mazimize a positive outcome the next go around.

Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and to tear it out is not only impossible, but destructive: attempting to tear it out unraveled everything else with it.

Pain is part of life. Trying to avoid it is what multiplies that pain. Be kind to yourself and deal with the pain when it is at 1x instead of avoiding it such that it compounds to be 10x as damaging. 

3/ SUFFERING CREATES CHANGE

We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It’s nature’s preferred agent for inspiring change. 

Shame. Pain. Guilt. They all suck to feel. But the reason that they hurt is to encourage ourselves to change. To take a different route. To muster up the strength. To build resilience. To confront and solve the problem. The only reason you stoop down to take a pebble out of your shoe is when it’s annoying the shit out of you. If it didn’t cause some minute form of suffering, you wouldn’t waste the effort.

4/ THE POWER IS IN TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

When we feel that we’re choosing our problems, we feel empowered. When we feel that our problems are being forced upon us against our will, we feel victimized and miserable. 

We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond. Nobody else is ever responsible for your situation but you. Many people may be to blame for your unhappiness, but nobody is every responsible for your unhappiness but you. This is because you always get to choose how you see things, how you reaction to things, how you value things. You always get to choose the metric by which to measure your experiences. 

Taking responsibility is freeing. It wrestles the reigns of power from uncertainty and puts you in the driver’s seat. Is it your fault that it’s raining today? Nope. But you still get to make the choice of what to do about it. If you’re going to go for that run or not. If you’re just going to enjoy the day chilled out with a blanket and a book. Or if you’re going to take your kids out to splash in muddy puddles.

You don’t control the weather. But you do control your response.

5/ PICK YOUR PROBLEMS

“Don’t hope for a life without problems,” the panda said. “There’s no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.” To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action; it’s an activity, not something that is passively bestowed upon you.

Happiness is action and making choices. It’s not something that smacks you in the fucking head as you’re toddling down the path of life. That’s a drunk seagull.

So actively choose your problems. Choose the shit that you’re willing to suffer for. Back in the day, I wanted to be someone who could play the guitar. So, I bought one. What I didn’t do is dedicate myself to learning how to player the guitar. I strummed around and then got bored with it.

I thought I wanted something, but I really didn’t. I didn’t want to suffer for it. I didn’t want to put in the work. I just wanted to be a suave guy at parties that could bust out a couple of songs on the guitar. I wanted the win, but didn’t want to sweat during the game.

Pick your problems. Pick what you’re willing to suffer for. Pick what you’re willing to work for. Because if you don’t pick your problems, new problems will just find you.

6/ STRONG BOUNDARIES ARE BASED ON NOT CARING ABOUT NEGATIVE OUTCOMES

I first experienced a first flavor of freedom: the ability to say whatever I thought or felt, without fear of repercussion. It was a strange form of liberation through accepting rejection. 

True freedom is not giving a fuck what people think of you. Being secure enough in yourself to be wrong, make mistakes and have minimal core repercussions. Having built a safety net of friends, agility, confidence, and “fuck you” money that you don’t need to suffer anyone’s shit. That you can draw strong boundaries and stick to them. Why? Because there’s minimal consequences if you do, and a pain in the ass if you don’t.

People with strong boundaries are not afraid of a temper tantrum, an argument, or getting hurt. People with weak boundaries are terrified of those things and will constantly mold their own behavior to fit the highs and lows of their relational emotional roller coaster.

People with strong boundaries understand that they may hurt someone’s feelings sometimes, but ultimately they can’t determine how other people feel. People with strong boundaries understand that a healthy relationships is not about controlling one another’s emotions, but rather about each partner supporting the other in their individual growth and in solving their own problems.

And that’s that. What appeared to be a silly airport book with “fuck” in the title written by a blogger that I like ended up shifting my perspective on how to approach life. It may have been the ideas, it may have been the way that they were expressed, it may have been the timing. All I know is that it made a difference.

- Christian

10 Takeaways From "The Everything Store"

As part of my “quarantine cleanup” I realized that there is a whole stack of books that I’ve read, highlighted and taken notes in … but never revisited. So I figured that it would be helpful for me to dive back into them and extract some of those key lessons.

Rereading a book read a couple of years ago is an interesting process. The person re-reading is (hopefully) not the same person who read it the first time. We all change. Experiences shape us. Time passes. We grow. We fall down. We learn some hard lessons and we keep on going. I don’t note the date that I read a book, but I am certainly going to do that now.

The first of the foremat that I’m trying is to distill the lessons / personal notes / highlights of the book into ten lessons. If you’re looking for a better version of this, you can read fellow-Canadian Shane Parrish’s summary here.

But this book was written in 2013. As was the review. Seven years later, the context is different. Amazon has grown from successful startup to economic monolith - the acquisition of Whole Foods, the proliferation of AWS, the Department of Defence contracts and - of course - the COVID-19 pandemic has pushed a lot of economic and cultural power to Amazon.

So perhaps it’s interesting to view a book written almost a decade ago through the lens of today.

1. BUILD YOUR TEAM ON POTENTIAL, NOT PAST EXPERIENCE

Miller knew nothing about toy retailing, but in a pattern that would recur over and over, Bezos didn’t care. He was looking for versatile manager - he called them “athletes” - who could move fast and get big things done.

I think that we can all agree that the hiring process in most organizations is broken. They defer to past experience. To people exhibiting a specific mold or pattern throughout their career. Someone worked at Nike? Holy shit! They must be amazing. That means that you’re relying on another company’s recruiting department from a couple of years ago to filter your candidates.

Don’t hire for past experience. Hire for who can deliver future results. Do the hard work to find, test and develop talent. Hire for values like hard work, tenacity, openess to learn and politness. Teach the skills like sales, marketing, customer service.

2. EXPLICITLY STATE YOUR VALUES

The leadership team agreed on five core values and wrote them down on a whiteboard in a conference room: customer obsession, frugality, bias for action, ownership and high bar for talent. Later Amazon would add a sixth value, innovation. 

Think about your values. Bat them around. Poke holes in them. And then write them down. Start wtih the smallest circle - yourself. Define who you want to become. What’s non-negotiable and what’s flexible. As Pete Carroll advised Steve Kerr before his first season as an NBA head coach - ask what kind of coach you want to be. A lot of us default to skating through life chasing a position, partner or goal without thinking what kind of person you want to be at work, in a relationship or on the field.

Are you someone who succeeds at any cost, or someone who thinks a strong reputation is required for long term success? Are a romantic partner who looking for a short term or long term relationship? Are you the type of player who puts their body on the line for the team, or prioritizes their long term health even if it means not catching that?

There are no right answers. But asking the questions may shake you out of your comfort zone to make your default choices more intentional.

3. FOCUS ON WHAT’S IMPORTANT AND FORGET MARKET PRESSURE

Bezos insisted the company need to master anything that touched the hallowed customer experience, and he resisted any efforts to project profitability. “If you are planning for more than twenty minutes ahead in this kind of environment, you are wasting your time,” he said in meetings. 

Amazon had pressure to deliver for the market. The people betting on your success / failure with minimal skin in the game. They don’t actually care if you succeed or not. They care if you’re predictable. They care if they can make money through investing in your business. And they judget success measured in fiscal quarters, not over years or decades.

If you’re confident in your approach, your focus and your team, don’t focus on selling a story to the market. Just represent yourself and ingore the noise. Masai Ujiri - President of the 2019 NBA Championsip Toronto Raptors - provided great insight on how he does this. After trading away the face-of-the-franchise in DeMar DeRozan to stack up for a championship run, he knew his decisions were going to be second guessed and overanalyzed in the press.

So what did he do? He made a deal with himself that he would not read any press on the trades until 6 months later. A year later, the trades he engineered help situate the team to bring the first NBA championship to Canada. Ever.

4. WHEN YOU OUTSOURCE, YOU’RE THINKING SHORT TERM.

By relying on Amazon, the retailers (AOL, Circuit City, Borders) delayed a necessary education on an important new frontier and ceded the loyalty of their customers to an aggressive upstart.

Outsourcing knowledge / skill / expertise is common. Especially for growing companies. I get it. You can’t be great at everything. But be acutely aware that when you are outsourcing something that you are consciously creating a potential long term disadvantage. Put a trigger or exit strategy in place. Have options. Don’t be locked into one supplier/[partner.

You’ve got to decide what you’re great at. And what you’re not. But don’t let your weaknesses become the blindspot that your competitors can leverage to their advantage.

5. WHY INNOVATE INSIDE YOUR ORGANIZATION WHEN YOU CAN CREATE A NEW ONE?

Great companies fail not because they want to avoid disruptive change, but because they are reluctant to embrace promising new markets that might undermine their traditional businesses and that do not appear to satisfy their short-term growth requirements.

Set up autonomous organizations charged with building new and indepenedent businesses around the disruptive technology.

The Kindle was designed to kill Amazon’s core business - physical books. The business unit had a separate office. A separate staff. It was completely autonomous, clear of the previous politics, culture and baggage fo the previous organization. They had a clear mandate from the top and buy-in to make it happen. It was an monumental task - build the hardward, build the network and convince publishers to sell thousands of ebooks for $9.99.

Replicate the iPod model for books. A new unit, separate from the mothership, prevented the naysayers, the politics and the old thinking to pollute the opportunity. It cleared the path for the group to tackle the singular focus of bringing a new e-reader and it’s ecosystem to the market.

6. ALWAYS SEARCH FOR THE BEST TRUTH. 

Jeff (Bezos) does a couple of things better than anyone I’ve ever worked for,” Rick Dalzell says. “He embraces the truth. A lot of people talk about the truth, but they don’t engage their decision-making around the best truth at the time.

There are many forms of truth. And the best truth shifts over time as more evidence comes to life. As we have experienced over the past months, science is a fluid and evolutionary process. More experience, more exposure and growing bodies of evidence fuel better insights. Better understanding. Better working knowledge.

We have to remember that almost all truth that we’re looking for - outside of the laws of physics - is a based on working information. As knowledge shifts, we have to be aware how our biases and our egos disrupt our thinking - prefering the secure to the uncertain. Prefering to confirm rather than question. Always search for the best evidence based truth, regardless of where it comes from.

7. NOT JUST COLD HARD DATA. ADD PERSONAL STORIES.

The company relies on metrics to make almost every important decision, such as what features to introduce or kill. Yet random customer anecdotes, the opposite of cold, hard data, also carry tremendous weight and can change Amazon policy.

Understanding the data as it sits in the current world is important. It’s the bedrock of solid decision making. That’s because for the majority of things (including fantasy football performance I might add), past behaviour is the most consistent predictor of future performance. But pure data does not predict the future. You need human stories and insights for two reasons: (1) to contexualize the reasons and colour behind the decisions that peopel are making, and (2) to sell it in.

People see numbers. But people remember stories. As rational and logical as we all try to be, our executive functions would prefer an idea with a personal story attached to it. It makes it real. It makes it relatable. It makes it memorable.

8. GOOD LEADERS HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO VOICE DISAGREEMENTS

Leaders are obligated to respectfully challenge decisions when they disagree, even when doing so is uncomfortable or exhausting. Leaders have convocation and are tenacious. They do not compromise for the sake of social cohesion. Once a decision is determined, they commit wholly. 

Voicing disagrements is not easy. The social pressure to agree with the group is imprinted onto our very genetic code - it’s the programming that knows we survive better in groups than alone. But as a leader, it is not your job to be popular. It’s your job to put the organization on track for success. And to do so, you need to be searching for a correct solution, not a popular solution.

Disagreements make concepts stronger. Even if they’re wrong. By attacking an idea, it forces you to consider counterpoints. To call out the flaws in the logic. To identify previously unforeseen challenges. Even if the dissenting point of view turns out to be a red herring, it still provides immense value in the act of opening people’s minds to other possibilities.

9. HAVE A LONG VIEW. BUILD OVER DECADES, NOT YEARS.

If humans think long term, we can accomplish things that we wouldn’t otherwise accomplish. Time horizons matter, they matter a lot.

Amazon was founded 26 years ago. Bezos bet on the future of commerce being over the internet. He knew that he wanted to create the “Everything Store” but needed to start somewhere. He needed to start somewhere, so he chose books.

There were three million books in print worldwide - enough to leverage an infinite bookshelf that couldn’t be stocked in traditional retailers. That small slice of an advantage. He started with books, added in CDs, toys, then … everything else. It wasn’t overnight. It was bit by bit.

We often look at an overnight success and don’t recognize the hours, years, and decades behind their current trajectory. Build with the long view in mind, not the quick cashout. It’s the difference between building an audience on the hottest social media platform vs owning the relationship directly with them. The second is much more difficult in the short term, but will pay off whenever a platform changes/gets banned.

10. SMALL ADVANTAGES COMPOUND. CULTIVATE THEM.  

Any process can be improved. Defects that are invisible to the knowledgable may be obvious to newcomers. The simplest solutions are the best.  We don’t have a single big advantage. So we have to weave a rope of many small advantages. Amazon is still weaving that rope. 

Amazon doesn’t have a single advantage - it’s had a lot of tiny advantages. A great reminder that there doesn’t have to be a silver bullet. There doesn’t need to be a single reason that you’re better than the competition. There can be a thousand tiny ones.

- -

As I comb through my notes from the book, there are certainly a lot of amazing tidbits, stories and lessons through three decades of Amazon. It’s great to understand the reasoning, difficulties and intentions behind some of their greatest hit and painful failures. I’m just excited to be priviledged enough to hold the opportunity to learn from them.

- Christian

Do Hard Things - The 75 Hard Challenge

April 27th. That’s when I started. Well, restarted. 

A month into the stay-at-home order in California, I was disappointed in myself. I wanted to use the quarantine as alive time instead of dead time. I had a vision of writing an article every day. Reading a book a week. Working out every day.

But I was struggling. We had just moved my family from Toronto to Los Angeles. We had a toddler and a newborn. No childcare support. All that while trying to build a good reputation at a new job. It was rough. 

I was struggling to keep my head above water. Was I in bad shape? Probably not. I was working out four or five times a week. I was eating relatively healthy, but doing the dad thing where you finish your toddler's macaroni & cheese. And drinking. I was hitting three beers a night four or five times a week. Nothing terrible … but still, nothing great.

Most of all, it was the looming presence of constant stress. Something that I was never able to tune out. From work. From our downstairs neighbors harassing us. From parenting. I wasn’t using this time at home to become a stronger human being. I wasn’t thriving. I was barely surviving.

And I don’t want to be a person who treads water. I want to be someone who swims for shore. If I’m spending most of my week with my kids instead of at the office, I need to be a good example. Have energy. Take pride in hard work. Practice patience. All of the shit that I was definitely not doing. 

So I decided to take up a challenge. Those who know me know that I love taking them on - a 30 x 30 run challenge, 5 day fasts, Whole30 diets. All that shit. I love making a commitment that eliminates thousands of decisions. When I have to do the mental gymnastics of whether I should work out today or not, that’s when I fail. When I follow a program, that’s when great shit happens.

I found my quarantine challenge -  75 Hard. The theory is this: do a couple of key things that you know are good for you for 75 days straight. No cheat days. No rest days. No compromise. And if you fuck up on even one of those things, you start again. 

THE 75 HARD LIST - THINGS TO DO EVERY DAY

Follow a diet
1 workout (45 min)
1 outdoor workout (45 min)
Read 10 pages of a real book
Drink 1 gallon of water
Take a progress picture 
— Andy Frisella

Are any of these tasks hard? No. Did it seem like one of those bullshit internet click funnel coach challenges / fitness instagram hashtag? Yup. But then I realized that Andy Frisella, founder of the challenge, had put all in the info is out there. For free. By design. It wasn’t a complicated scheme to trick you into giving your email or your credit card info. Or as one my favorite podcasters says “It’s free. Not enter your credit card free. Just free free.”

So I started. 

And failed a week in.

Then I started again.

And failed four days in.

And then I started again.

And finished it 75 days later on July 10th.

Was it easy? No. Was it worth it? Yes. Will I be doing it again? 100%. It wasn’t for fitness. It was to build resilience. To reinforce the commitment to myself that if I tell myself that I’m going to do something, I’m going to fucking do it. No inner debate. Just get it done or don’t put it on the list. 

Here’s what I learned:

Lesson #1 - SYSTEMS > WILLPOWER

The first two times that I attempted 75 Hard, I failed. Plain and simple.  I attribute that failure not to a lack of willpower, but a lack of planning. I thought - in the way of Forrest Gump - that I could just start and keep going … and going … and going. I could will my way through it. I was wrong. To succeed, I needed to build the right systems. To design my environment, days and routines in a way that makes it harder to fail than to succeed. 

So I built a routine. One that I would stick to for 75 days straight. Wake up, chill with my toddler and then take the progress picture. 

The next big step in the chain I knew that I had to do was get buy-in from my wife. There’s no way that she was going to clear almost 11 hours of exercise time a week … especially when we didn’t have any childcare support. She was running on fumes as much as I was, so I knew I had to solve it. 

So this is where I built the biggest step in my routine - my morning jog. I would take my toddler out in the stroller and do a jog while he ate his cereal in the stroller. Mom would get to rest for a bit early in the morning, I get to hang out with my son and the outdoor workout got done. I would also end up drinking a little more than a liter of the daily water for the day. All done before 8AM. Perfect. 

After that, everything seemed to be downhill with momentum. Building a morning routine had me well on my way. This allowed for flexibility in the rest of the day to get the rest of the 75 Hard tasks done. It made it easier.

Having clean ready-to-eat foods in the house made it impossible to cheat on my diet. Having no alcohol in the house made it a lot of work to drink. Having an accountability-buddy back in Toronto made it tough to skip my second workout. The systems picked me up and made it easy to do the hard things day after day after day. 

Lesson #2 - JUST GET IT DONE. 

Some days are awesome when everything goes right. Some days have a three year old busting out a 45 minute tantrum while you’re trying to finish a strategy for a new uniform launch. And when those days drop into your life, that’s when you realize that done is better than perfect.

The act of sticking to your commitments - especially when things get hairy - builds resilience. The consistency through the tough times are votes for the person that you want to be. The satisfaction in knowing that you dragged your I-don’t-want-to-go ass out of the house to finish your last 45 minute work is untouchable. The feeling that comes with checking that box and getting it done especially when you didn’t want to … I love it. 

As Neil Pasricha says, action causes motivation. It’s getting the little stuff done every single day that builds the motivation to get out and do it again tomorrow.  No excuses.

Hard days come and go. Just get it done. And celebrate yourself when you do. 

Lesson #3 - THE POWER OF COMMITTING TO YOURSELF

I didn’t publicize that I was doing this. I barely told my wife until I was a month in. I waited two months until my sister knew. I never posted it to social media. 

I wasn’t struggling for praise or support from other people. I was struggling for myself. I knew that making a commitment and holding myself accountable to it was more powerful than social pressure. 

I find it easy to make excuses to myself. I think a lot of us are like that. You know the right thing to do, but you opt to let yourself rationalize yourself out of having to do it. You balance the mental math of “I went running today, so I can eat this delicious donut lying around.” You didn’t plan to eat that donut. You just gave yourself some bullshit rationalization on why you can’t hold back. Same for procrastinating at work or at home.

But by showing up every single day, I knew that I was building confidence in myself. Making it easier to believe that I was going to finishing it. Making it harder to bitch out on my commitment to myself. Once I was over the halfway mark, I knew there was no going back. I had invested so much time and effort into the process that I wasn’t about to throw it away. The downhill was definitely easier. Not easy. But easier. 

The progress picture on Day 1 vs Day 75.

The progress picture on Day 1 vs Day 75.

THE LAST LESSON - DOING HARD THINGS IS REWARDING

I love doing hard shit. It started because of my ego. Because, if I fail it’s no big deal. Normal people would think that it would hard be hard to do that anyways. And if I succeed, it separates me from the people who didn’t make it. Or even better - the people who never even tried. 

But now it’s more than that. It’s greater than fluffing my ego with meaningless comparisons to other people. It’s about the challenge of chasing my full potential. To wake up and see what I can actually do. 

As an athlete. As a businessman. As a writer. 

As a boss. As a friend. As a father.

As a husband. As a son. As a brother. 

Doing hard things build our resilience. It makes us more flexible to different conditions. It constructs the confidence that we can survive tough shit. Like job loss. Like a recession. Like tragedy. 

Like a pandemic. 

My favorite memory from the whole process was about halfway through. My three year old son had been with me on a bunch of runs / jogs / hikes. And he wanted in. So what started as a father-son hike ended up being a father-son hill runs. Proudest moment of the year. 

- Christian

Good Project Manager // Bad Project Manager

One of the best things that a leader can do is invest in their team. Making sure that they have the functional skills to perform their job at the highest level and are constantly improving. It starts with setting clear expectations and providing constant preformance feedback with regards to hitting those expectations. This is something that was written for my team after talking with some of the best project managers that I’ve worked with. Full disclosure, this is stolen from this 20 year old essay by Ben Horowitz.

Good project managers know their audience. They understand the fans that we have and the ones that we want to capture. They know the team, the brand and the competition extremely well and operate from a strong basis of knowledge and confidence.

A good project manager is the CEO of the project. A good project manager takes full responsibility and measures themselves in terms of the success of the project in market. A good project manager knows the context going in (our football team, our fan sentiment, our funding, competition, etc.). They take responsibility for devising and executing a winning plan.

Bad project managers have lots of excuses. Not enough budget, the media team was slow, I didn’t get a clear answer from PR, I’m overworked, I don’t get enough direction. Coach McVay doesn’t make these kinds of excuses and neither should the CEO of a project.

Good project managers set a clear vision. And communicate it. Both verbally and again in writing. Bad project managers are happy to move forward with loose goals – generic objectives things like “grow fans” or “increase revenue”.

Good project managers inspire trust – trust that communication will come in a timely manner, trust that people will be held accountable, trust that they are honest and transparent. Bad project managers are shifty – people don’t know if what they’re saying is true or will be true tomorrow.

Good project managers don’t get sucked into politics. They don’t take sides. They don’t keep score. They don’t hold grudges. They don’t respond to tantrums or threats. They are patient, focused and positive. Bad project managers display stress, anxiety and anger. Bad project managers take things personally and bring down the mood of the team.

Good project managers aren’t a “marketing resource”. They’re the captain of the “get shit done” squad.

Good project managers know how we fucking make money. Bad project managers do things only for the love of the game.

Good project managers crisply define the goals, the “what” (as opposed to the how) and manage delivery of the “what”. Good project managers set a plan, but are flexible on how they get there. Bad project managers feel best about themselves when they figure out the “how”. They view the process as sacred instead of a tool.

Good project managers set a vision and drive people towards it. Bad project managers manage meetings.

Good product managers communicate crisply in writing as well as verbally. Good project managers don’t give direction informally. Good project manager gather information informally.

Good project manager create systems and leverageable collateral – share drives, presentations, Slack/Teams channels and update emails. Bad project managers complain that they spend all day answering questions and are swamped.

Good project managers send meeting agendas and written recaps. Bad project managers blindly expect everyone to pay close attention and take notes on an 30 minute call.

Good project managers see the road ahead and anticipates problems ahead of time.  Bad project managers put out fires all day. Good project managers check in. Every. Single. Day. Bad project managers wait until the deadline to figure out if the deliverables are ready. Good project managers manage up when shit hits the fan. Bad project managers ignore the smoke, hoping it will go away. Good project managers raise their hand to ask for help. Bad project managers gut it out, stew and suffer without telling anyone.

Good project managers act as an ally to everyone. Bad project managers rely on a small group that they can trust. Good project managers lead by influence, not authority. Bad project managers get stuck on the fact that “Aaron is an asshole to work with”.

Good project managers focus the team on revenue and fans. Bad product managers focus team on what other teams are doing. Good project managers deconstruct and clearly define problems. Bad project managers combine all problems into one.

Good project managers err on the side of clarity vs. explaining the obvious. Bad project managers never explain the obvious. Good project managers define their job and their success. Bad project managers constantly want to be told what to do.

Good project managers send their status reports in on time every week, because they are disciplined.

 - Christian

Hopping Off The Plane At LAX

I won a job as the new VP, Brand Experience for the LA Rams. I say won, because there was definitely luck involved. I was at the right place at the right time ... and happened to be qualified. It was kind of like poker - I worked hard to build the right hand, know how to play it correctly and was patient. But there was definitely luck involved. As there always is in life.

There were 1,900+ applicants for the job to lead the Brand Experience team for the LA Rams. A good football team. One of the biggest markets on the planet. The opportunity to contribute to a brand that impacts culture. Check. Check. Check.

My chances of my application being seen - nonetheless pass through screening - were slim to none. 

So I took my own advice. I called out to my network looking for an in. I reached out to the hiring manager directly. I got a phone call. I built a PDF designed to tell the story of who I am (because people would rather click on an attachment than a link), I did my research and came prepared. 

And then I waited.

Then I met with some more people. Then I waited again. 

Then I got asked to meet the team president. Shit. Amazing news! The best advice that I got before meeting with him? Just be you. Cool. That's helpful, so I did. I knew that there were other extremely qualified candidates gunning for the role. So even if I didn't get the job, I wanted to walk away with some knowledge. I mean, how often does anyone get to sit down 1-on-1 with an NFL team president? 

So I thought ... what would Shane Parrish do? Or Adam Grant? Or Jordan Harbinger? Ask a bunch of questions and try to suss out the systems he uses to make decisions. Try to figure out how he structures his thinking. How he thinks about building culture for both the team and the business side. How he measures value and on what timeline. 

He probably just thought that he was drinking coffee and having a conversation with someone. I was on the other side of the table desperately trying to balance retaining the information he just shared and continue the conversation down an interesting path.

And I was fortunate enough that the CMO placed her faith in me and I got the job. 

I will need everything that I learned from my time in advertising and the client side. How to articulate strategies. How to build buy-in. How to get shit done. And I will need to keep learning.

And now I'm on a plane to LA to start this off. To work with a great marketing and brand experience team. To tackle challenges I don't even know exist. To get a crash course on the different cultures in LA. To wrestle with insane fanaticism of NFL fans. And figure out how to create a couple million more. This time, for the LA Rams. 

Wish me luck!

- Christian 

Thank You MLSE

I can finally write this. Thank you Leafs. Thank you Raptors. Thank you MLSE.

I started working there thinking that it would be an opportunity to do great work on cool brands. Mainly the Raptors. My wife got an awesome job in Toronto and I had to find work from New York. So I cold applied to MLSE. I didn't know anyone there, but I figured it was worth a shot.

I was there for five championships (TFC, 905, Marlies, Argos and Raptors). Full disclosure - I didn't have to do with any of them. That was all the front office, the players, the coaches, the analytics teams, the training staff and the GMs. They won their rings through hard work, determination, vision and strategy.  

To sit at the feet of greatness and to hear from the people that made those decisions ... that was life changing. To hear how Kyle Dubas was willing to leverage the Marlies to experiment with things that were locked into tradition - like the five forward power play or individualized player development with Adam Brooks. Or to listen to Masai talk about being able to make a decision with the best information that you have in the moment and ignoring the noise. Small glimpses into the minds of these people allowed me to start to understand how they think. The mental models they use. How they made decisions.

I left having had the opportunity to lead three amazing marketing teams - (1) Raptors digital, (2) Leafs & Marlies marketing, and (3) Live & Lifestyle. The best part of it was watching the people on my team grow. Grow into smart strategists. Grow into strong leaders. Grow into good decision makers.

Seeing people move up with promotions they worked hard for was one of the most rewarding things that I experienced as a boss (or ex-boss, I guess). Being there to support team members battling through tough circumstances and see the them come out the other side stronger ... that sort of thing imbues a weird sort of paternal pride. Knowing that the confidence that you had in them, they now see in themselves. And having the teams you lead clean up at the awards shows ... well, that's always a cause for an ego boost and champagne celebrations. Or was it donuts? Probably both.

And there were bumps in the road. Structures to navigate. Relationships to build. Tough conversations to have. Real talk - who the fuck thought it was acceptable for an 8 second load time for a website? At my most exasperated, I remember having everyone in the meeting room sit in silence and watch the clock for the full time it took the website to load. Uncomfortable? Yes. Rude? Absolutely. But why would we expect our fans to do it if we wouldn't? It got fixed.

With every mistake, I strived to learn. Where the boundaries of the brand were. Where our fans needed us to lead them. How the process could improve. If we were really listening to what our partners wanted, or playing broken telephone. I remember the crash course in how an unrealistic narrative can be built from a couple of hand selected Tweets from anonymous fans on a slow day for sports news in Toronto. 

People think that the value of MLSE is their brands - that they are able to build cultural artifacts so powerful that they lead conversations instead of following them. Or the people who buy tickets. Or the players they’re able to attract. Or the championships.

But it's really their fans. They legions of people that get whipped up into a frenzied obsession. It doesn't matter if you've been ride-or-die with the team for 20 years. Or if you've never seen the end of a game because your mom makes you go to bed before the 3rd period. That audience is the true value. They're the people who keep the lights on with their passion, demand championships and hold MLSE accountable.

I may be oversharing compared to what people normally talk about when they leave MLSE. But I had a great time there. I had some great bosses. I led amazing teams.  I learned a lot. I wanted to share it. So sue me.

- Christian

PS. To read about where I landed, click here.

A Personal Essay On The First Principles & Parenting

Parenting is hard. I don't give a shit if you and your partner have the chillest kid in the world. If she's sleeping in a $600 basinet or a laundry basket. If she eats when she's supposed or refuses food. If she undertands the concept of nightime and "sleeps like a baby" or "sleeps like a fucking nightmare" ... it doesn't matter. It's rough.

The sleep deprivation. The strain it places on relationships. The perpetual fear that you might be fucking up a human life with something that you accidentally said or did. (Yes, that's real) Fighting the urge to compare your kid to the rest of the toddlers running around out there. And tantrums are a fact of life as kids discover the limits.

And the inevitable question becomes ... why? Why are we doing this?

And not "biologically" why. I get that.

But let's get back to first principles. Why are we doing this? And knowing that, how does that inform how we approach each day?

Everyone is different. But most people living in developed countries have a choice when it comes to having children. Whether it's contraception, abortion or something else ... there are choices. So, why do we make the choice to have children? And why do we make the choice to continue parenting? What are our expected rewards from engaging in this biologically helpful, but immensely difficult task?

THE CHOICE TO HAVE CHILDREN

The choice to have children is entirely selfish. I did it for me. I made the choice because I thought that my life would be better with a kid. Or happier. Or easier. Or have less pain or annoyance.

People can blame social pressure. It's what society or their families expect. That's still a selfish choice - you made the decision that bowing to that pressure would make your life easier. Even if it's just for the short term.

People can blame their partner. They just wanted to make him/her happier. Gilded in an altruistic "I'm doing this for them" lies a paradox. You want to make them happier ... but you're doing it because making them happy makes you feel good. Or you're hoping that some of their happiness will rub off on you.

The truth of the matter is that the choice to have children is 100% selfish. And it has to be. We are not forced to have children. We choose to have them.

Knowing this, what does that mean? Does that mean that I'm forced to back up my choice for the rest of my life? No. That too is a choice. 

THE CHOICE TO BE A PARENT

As there is a choice to have children, there is the choice to be a parent. To show up. To do that hard work. To contribute to your child's life.

So why do it? Why make that choice? Once again, we find that it's a selfish choice. I parent because kids add joy to my life. They make my life better. On the shitty days. On the good days. In the short run. In the long run.

The things that I experience as a father put me through an crazy range of emotions. I feel proud. I feel safe. I feel like a happy. I feel curious. I feel like a fucking man! When you realize that it only takes a kiss on a scraped knee to make a tiny human being feel better ... you feel like the best person in the entire world. It's as if someone has begged you to solve a humanitarian crisis, and you're the ONLY person in the world with the skills to do so. It's fucking rad. 

THE NEW FRAMING

I've chosen to have a child.
Today, I'm chosing to be a parent.
I've chosen these things because my life is better with kids than it is without them.

So I need to lean into the things that make my life better - in the short and the long term. Pride in myself for actually being able to enforce discipline. Revel in the excitement of my children learning something new. The admiration of being someone that they look up to. And the pure joy that erupts when my son takes a shit in the toilet. 

FURTHER MUSINGS

This essay may feel like a smattering of disorganized thoughts. It is. This is part of my process of figuring out how to be a good dad. And part of that is taking the time to step back and figure out why I am doing things. Why I'm hoping for certain outcomes. Why we - as a family - are driving towards certain goals.

Too often, I find myself stuck in a pattern of parenting and I don't step back to ask why. And with how quickly kids develop, I could be reinforcing bad habits for 25% of my son's life before I realize it. Fuck. That's sobering.

So the next phase is taking time to ponder what sort of people that I want them to be. Because each type of person requires different characteristics, skillsets and values to develop.

Do we want them to support us when we get old? Stability, guilt, loyalty and obedience are important.
Do we want them to be happy? Self-awareness, experimentation, humility and social skills are important.
Do we want them to be successful in a competitive field? Drive, grit, hard world and a competitive nature are important.
Do we want them to be a productive member of society? Empathy, curiousity, service and a moral compass are important.

Truthfully, I just don't know where to start.

- Christian